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Quotes

A list of all the quotes that appear in my quote randomizer thing-a-ma-bob.

I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals, who remember the good old days, when entertainment was bland and inoffensive.
Grampa Simpson

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Homer Simpson

A good Jew is someone who is constantly striving to become a better Jew.
Harold S. Kushner

Why do we fast on Yom Kippur? ... We fast to prove, to ourselves as much as to anyone else, that we are human.
Harold S. Kushner

Our Jewish identity is shaped less by our direct relationship to God, and more by our relationship to our parents and grandparents, and the generations of Jews who preceded them and passed a faith on to us.
Harold S. Kushner

[Judaism] does not see death as liberation from earthly bondage and a graduation to a better world. It sees death as tragedy. Death puts an end to a person's ability to sanctify the world.
Harold S. Kushner

Judaism does not see the material world, the world of food and sex and sleep and other bodily needs, as being less worthy than the realm of the spirit.
Harold S. Kushner

Doing the right thing is within the reach of all human beings, and feels right when they do it, but it does not come naturally.
Harold S. Kushner

For Judaism, sin is a deed, not a condition.
Harold S. Kushner

A sin is a missed opportunity to act humanly.
Harold S. Kushner

Praying in Hebrew, reciting words that are familiar but untranslatable, helps reinforce this sense of prayer's being an emotional-aesthetic experience rather than a rational-intellectual one.
Harold S. Kushner

In Judaism, holiness, sanctification, always refers to the way people relate to each other, never to an act of withdrawing from a sinful world into a life of greater purity.
Harold S. Kushner

Judaism is a way of making sure that you don't spend your whole life, with its potential for holiness, on eating, sleeping, and paying your bills. It is a guide to investing your life in things that really matter, so that your life will matter.
Harold S. Kushner

Another group of scientists at the Pritikin Center achieved equally spectacular results by prescribing a low-fat, plant-based diet and exercise to a group of diabetic patients. Of forty patients on medication at the start of the program, thirty-four were able to discontinue all medication after only twenty-six days.
T. Colin Campbell, PhD - The China Study

The results of these, and many other studies, showed nutrition to be far more important in controlling cancer promotion than the dose of the initiating carcinogen.
T. Colin Campbell, PhD - The China Study

...nutrients from animal-based foods increased tumor development while nutrients from plant-based foods decreased tumor development.
T. Colin Campbell, PhD - The China Study

I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or see the look of terror in a young man's eyes. Thank heaven for children.
Grampa Simpson

It doesn't matter how you feel inside, you know. It's what shows up on the surface that counts. Take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down, past your knees, until you're almost walking on them. And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties, and boys will like you... and happiness will follow.
Marge Simpson

The blues isn't about making yourself feeling better, it's about making other people feel worse.
Bleeding Gums Murphy - The Simpsons

I used to rock and roll all night and party ev-er-y day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.
Homer Simpson

I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you!
Grampa Simpson

Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but, I managed to shoot him in the spine. I guess the next next place he robs better have a ramp.
Moe - The Simpsons

I want to clear up a misconception about the Wha-Cha-Ma-Carcass Sandwich. I used non-diseased meat from diseased animals! Everyone does it!
Krusty - The Simpsons

Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie.
Apu - The Simpsons

Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
Homer Simpson

I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.
Bart Simpson

They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.
Moe - The Simpsons

Oh, they have the Internet on computers now.
Homer Simpson

We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget - we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup.
Homer Simpson

That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.
Ralph Wiggum - The Simpsons

Ack. There is no "emoticon" to express what I am feeling right now.
Comic Book Guy - The Simpsons

When I grow up, I'm going to bovine university!
Ralph Wiggum - The Simpsons

I ated the purple berries. It tastes like ... burning.
Ralph Wiggum - The Simpsons

"a forty-inch fur coat made from coyotes, for example, equals sixteen dead coyotes, plus an unknown number of dead non-target animals, plus more than two hundred hours of animal suffering."
Tom Regan, Empty Cages

Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.
Jean-Paul Sartre

It should not be believed that all beings exist for the sake of the existence of man. On the contrary, all the other beings too have been intended for their own sakes and not for the sake of anything else...There is no difference between the pain of humans and the pain of other animals.
Rabbi Moses Maimonides (1135-1204), Guide for the Perplexed

Each of us is a fraction of infinity. But since infinity cannot be quantified, no matter how it is divided and subdivided, even a fraction of infinity is infinite. So even in our fractured state, we manifest infinity.
Daniel C. Matt, God and the Big Bang

You don't eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all....scratchy.
The Tick

Gravity is a harsh mistress.
The Tick

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain

Denial is a common tactic that substitutes deliberate ignorance for thoughtful planning.
Charles Tremper

Necessity is not a fact, it's an interpretation.
Friedrich Nietzsche

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